By Kate Snow

Kids’ sloppy mistakes in math driving you up the wall? Learn 4 simple steps you can take to improve their neatness and accuracy in math!

Some kids seem to be born with the desire to write neatly…while others need a whole lot of convincing. (And I know, because I have one of each!) While messy handwriting can make it hard for kids to express their ideas in any subject, it’s especially a problem in math. That’s because every single number matters. If you mistake a 6 for a 0, or a 2 for a 7, you’re going to get the problem wrong.

My son Henry has never been a big fan of pencils, and I did a lot of scribing for him when he was younger. But now that he’s in third grade, his fine motor skills are much stronger, and he’s developed much greater stamina in writing. Sloppy mistakes have been starting to prevent him from showing what he knows on his math assignments, so I decided recently it was time to take some action. Here’s what I did. [Read more…]

As parents, it’s natural to want the best for our children. But sometimes, the way we go about parenting them may bring more harm than good. While there is no set rulebook on how to parent a child, it is imperative that we are considerate of our actions since they have the power to either positively or negatively affect them.

Keep reading below to learn the five ways how your habits are negatively affecting your kids:

1. Acting hypocritically: if you don’t follow your own rules, your child will do the same

Don’t tell your child not to do something and then do it yourself! This contradictory action confuses them with understanding what is acceptable versus what is not. If you’re a hypocrite, a child will be unable to perceive consequences for actions. For example, warning your child about the addictive qualities of alcohol but simultaneously choosing to drink it with every meal is counterproductive. No matter what you say, your child will ultimately reflect your behavior since you are the leading example in their lives.

2. Being a helicopter parent: invading too much of their personal space

We don’t need to know what our child are doing every second of the day – especially our teenagers. What children want most is the space to understand themselves and experience the world around them on their own terms. If you’re constantly acting as a helicopter parent to your child, you’re going to make them feel emotionally “suffocated” and anxious with every action they do, which is a recipe for turning your child into a rebel, liar, or both. They will compare the parenting style of their friends’ parents to yours, which will, in turn, make them question both your authority and credibility and cause them to feel more inclined to do things behind your back. [Read more…]

By Faith Collins

As a parent of a preschooler, I know how easy it can be to feel that you’re “putting your life on hold” while your children are little. Or conversely, it can feel like you’re trying to live two lives at once — one with your children, and the other while they’re cared for by someone else. Many parents struggle with how to integrate their conflicting roles and learn to love the life they live with children.

This quandary is one that parents can work to resolve. It is possible to embrace the early parenting years and also live a full, satisfying life. Use these creative approaches for enjoying the moment and learning how to find fulfillment during this extraordinary time of life:

1. Teach your children to be enjoyable human beings.We all want our children to be happy, but contrary to popular belief, letting them be in charge doesn’t lead to increased happiness — for us orfor them. The same skills that make children enjoyable to be around, such as good manners, patience, and dealing with frustration, are also the skills that promote future success in their schooling, relationships and careers. Realizing that it’s not avoiding disappointment that keeps children happy, but learning how to recover quickly and move on, enables you to minimize the power struggles.

[Read more…]

By Faith Collins

We know from decades of parenting research that children do best when adults act from a place of loving authority (high expectations paired with high warmth). However, as anyone who is a parent can tell you, sometimes this is more easily said than done. If staying calm is a challenge for you, rest assured that you’re not alone in this struggle. Children bring out the best and the worst in all of us, and being a parent is difficult in ways people don’t understand until they experience it. In addition, many of us were on the receiving end of anger from our own parents, and even if we vowed “never to do that,” we tend to revert to what we grew up with when under stress.

Despite the fact that anger gets triggered so often in parenting, working to control our own behavior is vital if we want the best outcomes for our children. If you’re striving for a mutually responsive relationship, but anger keeps getting in your way of responding kindly and consistently, use these four tips for maintaining self-control.

1. Don’t wait until your patience runs out. If you wait until you’re at the end of your rope before setting boundaries, the possibility for explosive interactions is significantly higher. Instead, work on setting those boundaries as soon as that first spike of annoyance hits. Setting boundaries before you’re fed up allows you to respond to a child’s likely disappointment with compassion rather than annoyance.

2. Start over. When your interactions with your child slip beyond annoyance into anger, this is the crucial moment when things are still salvageable. If you suddenly notice yourself yelling, an easy way to change directions is simply to stop mid-sentence, take a deep breath and say, “I don’t want to yell. Let’s start over again.” This can feel awkward the first few times you do it, but it can be surprisingly effective. Truly, it’s possible for the interaction to turn on a dime and go from confrontation to connection in a moment. Perhaps your child will need a hug, a snuggle or a silly song to reconnect. Then you can move forward again on the same team.  [Read more…]

By Dr. Susan Bartell

October is often when parents seek help for a struggling child because by this time, teachers and parents are becoming aware of a child’s academic, social and emotional struggles. It is important to seek help promptly in order to avoid a child falling even further behind in the challenging area.

It can be confusing to try to figure the exact problem(s) affecting your child’s success because in some situations different underlying concerns can produce similar academic or emotional responses. It is important to find the true underlying cause of your child’s struggles as soon as possible so you can provide the best intervention as soon as possible. Therefore, I offer you a roadmap so that you will know which steps to take based upon the observed difficulties.

[Read more…]

You’re supposed to feel weepy, forsaken and bereft.

And maybe you do. Sometimes. Some days.

But many parents are realizing that they also feel exhilarated, freer and, yes, sexier, when their kids grow up, leave home and go out on their own.

“It might be an empty nest, but there’s no ‘syndrome,’” says Lynda Cheldelin Fell (www.LyndaFell.com), an emotional healing expert and creator of the “Grief Diaries” series of books. “At least, not in the negative sense.

 “There’s no malady about it. It’s more like a club whose members are secretly celebrating having more quality time alone, with their friends and with their spouse.”

Magazine articles and TV doctors still tend to focus on “coping” with this midlife transition, and the identity crisis they say could lead to depression, alcoholism and divorce. But research reveals an empty nest can actually reduce stress and family conflicts. A 2008 study by University of Missouri associate professor Christine M. Proulx found that parents mostly felt pride and relief that they’d done their job and prepared their kids to live independently.

Fell says she and her husband dreaded the day when their youngest child went off to college. [Read more…]

By Dr. Jennifer Weeks

I am frequently asked by parents how they should talk to their child about pornography or sexting after it has been discovered that the child has been looking at online pornography or sending sexual images to another teen.  Though I commend these parents for talking to a professional in an attempt to get the best advice, that horse is already out of the stable.  When I ask these caring parents why they have not already talked to their child about sex and digital sexuality, a number of reasons come to light.  These reasons normally have nothing to do with the child but are all related to the parent’s “stuff.”

So why don’t parents talk to their children about sex?

1.    Parents don’t know enough about sex themselves.

If you are a parent, obviously you know enough about sex to have created a child.  Even though we may be having sex, we might not know enough about it to teach healthy sexuality to a child.  Most parents know the basic biology of human sexuality.  We know the names of male and female anatomical parts.  We know the basics of conception, the fertilization of the egg by the sperm.  After these basics, there is a huge lack of knowledge.  Many parents do not have adequate knowledge of sexually transmitted infections or HIV.  Discussing disease transmission is a big part of discussing healthy sexuality with a child that moves beyond the biological mechanics of sex.  

Another aspect of teaching healthy sexuality is teaching about healthy relationships.  Teaching children about consent, healthy communication, partnership, intimacy, etc. are all part of teaching healthy sexuality. We also teach children through modeling of behavior.  If parents are not talking about healthy relationships with their children and are modeling dysfunction (i.e., emotional or physical abuse, disconnection, avoidance, etc.) they are actually teaching unhealthy sexuality to their children.   [Read more…]

It’s amazing how savvy young children are when it comes to mobile devices and entertainment technology. Their aptitude with electronics is admirable, but how much screen time is too much? Here, we address the risks associated with too much screen time and solutions for cutting back on your children’s tech use.

Excessive Use of Tablets & Smartphones

Nearly 40 percent of children ages two to four have used a tablet-type device to play games, use apps or watch videos, according to a Common Sense Media report. And more than a quarter of parents have downloaded apps for their child. The 2013 report also showed that the number of children who use technology on a daily basis has more than doubled since 2011.

The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that excessive device use has been associated with obesity, aggression and behavioral issues. For some reason, children light up when they see Mom or Dad’s smartphone, and it’s hard for parents to say no. In addition, many parents are fascinated at their children’s ability to master the device.

To put our love for tablets into perspective, Dr. Aric Sigman, a psychologist, told The Guardian that children born now will accumulate an entire year’s worth of screen time by age seven. He doesn’t exclusively mention tablets or smartphones, but their portability and ease-of-use makes them a top source of screen time.

The solution: As with anything, moderation is key. Avoid passive screen time. Use mobile devices such as the Google Nexus 6 for educational games or shared time together, and monitor the time your child spends using these devices. The National Association for the Education of Young Children suggests parents avoid using technology to keep children occupied and advises against giving children a device when they are fussy or throwing tantrums. If your child is upset, her or she needs the comfort of a parent, not a gadget or device.

[Read more…]