Sobriety And Dating – Can Love Stay Sober When You’re Not

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Life is hard. I bet none of you would dare challenge or argue with me when I say this. There are just so many things about life that will give you a whole lot of pain in the neck. No matter how happy, positive, and ridiculously carefree you are, some things just won’t work your way and it gets to you. It eats you up like a bad case of hangover. Speaking of hangovers, that is exactly what we are going to talk about today. This is yet another problem that plagues many people and for most of them, trying to cut off the cause is next to impossible. Today, let’s discuss how a person’s sobriety affects one of life’s most important facets: Love and Dating.

Probably one of the most prominent causes of endorphin production in the body, love is certainly a force to adore and fear. In its presence, a person’s day can go from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. In its absence, a person’s life can feel empty and lonely. Love has that power to change its environment, maybe not physically but in terms of atmosphere and “feel.”

You’ve got to admit; love gives you that kind of high that makes you go above and beyond yourself. Whatever aches you’re feeling instantly go away. Whatever fears that daunts you instantly fades away. It’s just got that kind of power which is why it is so darn addictive. Find out if love is an addiction here: https://www.livescience.com/6695-romantic-love-addiction-researchers.html.

When Love Addiction Goes Wrong

We constantly crave love. We forever want to be a part of someone’s life. To have a person of your own, to have and to hold, to brave life with together, that’s the most amazing feeling in the world. You crave for this sense of security and belongingness so much that you would go to various lengths just to have it. But sometimes, like many countless times before, life has other plans for you so it tries to take love as far away from you as possible. And what do most people do when they are denied of what they want? They throw a fit. Or better yet, they look for an alternative.

When people can’t seem to find love anywhere no matter how much they try – not with their family, not with a partner, not with their work, and most especially, not with themselves – they turn to worldly vice for comfort. They try to fall in love with things that give them temporary escape; things that numb them to their very core. 

Smoking, drinking, and doing drugs are just few of the many things that provide people with false comfort. However, someone who is love-deprived cannot easily tell what’s good for them or not. And even if they can tell, they would still rather choose to relieve themselves of their pain. I guess when we all really think about it, we are just constantly hiding away from pain. We simply don’t want to feel it.

But the numbing effects of vice is all but monetary. It runs out fast. It gets you high and then comes crashing down on you just like that. When it wastes away, you want to get hold of it once again. You want to shut off one more time and get away from everything that’s troubling you. This leads to dependence – and eventually addiction. The most common form of coping addiction is alcoholism. At first, it starts out as harmless fun. We drink to be merry; we drink whenever we feel stressed. And that’s okay, if only occasional. 

Once the drinking starts being chronic (e.g. midday drinking, drinking till you pass out), it becomes a dependency. And soon enough this alcohol dependency turns into addiction. Read more about it here. Before you know it, you can’t live a day without alcohol in your system. It disrupts your way of life, it drives away your family, and in the end, you are left alone by yourself and maybe a bottle of rum to your side.

And this doesn’t solve the problem at all, does it?

Can Alcoholic People Still Date?

Yes, for sure. In fact, many people who have alcohol problems are involved with many, erratic relationships. But that’s just it. They get involved with chaotic relationships. They often date people who also have the same problems and that doesn’t end too well most of the time. Even if they do get into serious relationships, the love is cut short because of their alcohol addiction. This is why love never ends on a good note with a person who is alcoholic. That’s just how addiction works. It ruins all your chances towards happiness. Just when you think you’ve found gold, you exchange it for a bottle of rum. And the worst part is, you actually think it’s a darn good trade.

But sooner than later, you’d come to realize that alcohol can never keep you company. It can never keep you from being lonely. It will always turn the people you love away from you. And by the time you realize it, you’re much, much lonelier than you ever were before.

Maybe this is the time you consider going sober.

Love Doesn’t Stay Sober When You’re Not

This is why you should walk the path to sobriety. Dating only works when both people are in it together, helping each other grow as individuals and furthering their connection together. If just one person has to carry all the weight of the relationship by himself/herself, it will become unbearable in the long run which leads to the fall out of the relationship. Sobriety is the way to happiness. After all, sober people would want to date other sober people.

You can’t be drunk and be in love at the same time. It just doesn’t work that way. You should be able to love fully, with all consciousness. That is the only time you can devote yourself to another. So why not hide those bottles away? Better yet, throw them out. Rid your life of them and let love begin.