Strengthening Your Marriage During and Post COVID-19

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With COVID-19, quarantine, the economy, and the stress of life right now, relationships can struggle under the strain. 

Like never before, couples are finding they have more time together. Working from home, a lack of late-night meetings, a reduction in travel – all of these combined have meant more time to connect with our significant others. 

People who are intentional to use this time wisely are shutting off their television at night and working to create greater intimacy with their partner. Meaningful conversation, working together on projects around the house, making meals together, playing games, and having intimate romantic connection are all ways to use this time to benefit your relationship.

Rather than simply survive this crisis, couples can use this as an opportunity to grow in deeper connection with each other. 

Here are 5 tips to strengthen relationships with significant others:

Processing feelings

Couples should spend time talking about their feelings during this difficult time. Just as important, if not more so, is validating each other’s experiences and feelings. People tend to want to rescue others from difficult feelings, but sometimes people just need space to process their emotions before they can fully move through them to the other side.

Conversation

Couples should try and find time to have meaningful conversation- even if it’s just 10 minutes a day. Talking about more than the everyday tasks that must be accomplished. Ask each other questions about your childhood, your current goals, and future hopes and dreams. Many couples find even after decades together that there are still things to discover that will deepen your knowledge of each other.

Exercise

Exercise, whether together or alone, is extremely helpful for increasing positive brain chemistry, and working out stress. Taking the time to go on a walk outside the house when possible gives couples a change of scenery that is likely much needed. Even if pushing a stroller or bringing the dogs along, walking is a simple activity that gives couples the chance to move together and reconnect through uninterrupted conversation.

Take a break from electronics

Constantly having a screen in front of one’s face doesn’t allow for quality interpersonal communication. Setting aside a couple hours a night or a day a week to going tech-free really forces couples to prioritize each other, and face to face interaction. It gives the mind a break and challenges us to find ways to reconnect intentionally with our significant other.

Be a helper to your partner

Asking on a daily basis, “What can I do to help you today?” is a simple way to make sure you are actively working to meet your partner’s needs. Whether it’s a good, long hug, help with laundry, a listening ear, or assistance with the kids, checking in to see what your partner’s immediate needs are is a way of putting a “deposit” in your love bank. Having a full account means that, when times get tough, you will have a cushion to fall back on for a withdrawal.

Many couple counselors have noticed a dramatic uptick in the number of couples seeking therapy and relationship coaching. If you are struggling you should reach out to a competent, qualified professional with training, and credentials. Any of us who have been in lifelong marriages can tell you: marriage is hard and takes lots of work. No one inherently knows how to be a great spouse/significant other; it takes years to become proficient at being in a successful relationship.

Without the proper training and skills, it’s difficult to make the decision to end their relationship. You can’t know if you can flourish as a couple until you learn the tools to create a happy relationship.

Couples who are struggling should call and schedule a teleheath therapy appointment with someone who can show them how they might be able to repair their relationship before ending it. And plenty of couples who are not in crisis have started calling for counseling too. Another option is online counseling such as ReGain. This is an opportune time to reach out to someone who can help equip you with the lessons you need to make your romantic life happier and more fulfilling.