The 5th Annual What Turns People into Jagoffs “March Madness” Bracket just for Pittsburghers!


Starting March 30th, the Pittsburgh humor website,, will host its 5th March Madness bracket of jagoff-type things that drive current day ‘burghers, and ex-Pats living everywhere from Alaska to Florida, a little bit batty.  Basically, everyone in the world parodies a bracket or contest, and with the real March Madness canceled, well, is here for you!  

The bracket starts with a Sweet 16 (See the bracket graphic below.) 

Screen Shot 2020 03 29 at 6.44.18 AM

The science behind the bracket pairings?  None whatsoever!  Followers of the blog submitted the items over the past couple of weeks.  However, here’s a brief explanation of what and why: 

1.      2019 Bracket Winner: MEANDER-thals  – Event walkers or diagonal-walking-street-crossers – Just go straight, get off your phone and pick up the pace! (From Mary, New Castle and Maureen K, Facebook) 

2.      Sick People Going Out in Public – If you’re sick, STAY HOME! (From Joe, Anchorage, Alaska) 

3.      Grocery Hoarders – People that panic and buy more groceries than they need, especially during snowstorms and Covid-19 (From Mary Fran, Utah, Tim, and Marla, Pittsburgh and Carol and Tom, Instagram) 

4.      Pothole Dodgers – Driver that suddenly slam on the breaks and turn into oncoming lanes to miss a pothole because they weren’t paying attention to the road (From John L, Facebook) 

5.      Sunglasses Inside – People who wear sunglasses inside that aren’t prescription of course (Vince, Pittsburgh) 

6.      The Coronavirus – Hard to keep this one off of the list! (Vince and Mike H, Pittsburgh) 

7.      Staying in Quarantine Too Long – This one is perfect.. because is shows someone read the hashtag correctly! LOL.. “Things (Like a Quarantine) That Turn People Into Jagoffs ! (From Roman R, Instagram) 

8.      Any Type of Toilet Paper Shortage – This one is perfect too for the same reason! A TP shortage is something that can turn people into jagoffs! (Chuck, Facebook) 

9.      People Who Use Hunts Ketchup – Absolutely! It’s Heinz or nothing! (Mark, Pittsburgh) 

10.  People Who Don’t Return Shopping Buggies – This goes without saying! Really, you don’t have 28 extra seconds to put that thing in the corral. (Eric, Facebook) 

11.  Highway Shoulder Drivers – Those drivers who take misery of the rumble strips to pass traffic and get to their exit (Rich, Facebook) 

12.  People Who Don’t Pick-up After Their Dogs (Mark, Facebook) 

13.  Slow driving in the left lane – maybe not all of them are from Ohio but.. most them of them (Mark, Facebook)  

14.  Steelers Game Standers – People who stand every second of a Steelers game in the front row 

15.  Local Primanti Menu Perusers  – Ok.. if you’re from out of town, we get it. You have take a min to absorb it all. But locals? Ya gotta know that menu! 

16.  Dressing Room Clothes Droppers – People who leave clothes in dressing room after trying them on. It’s like a shopping buggy, you can’t return them to their proper place? (Cathy, Facebook) 

Voting will be Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of the next few weeks on the blog, just not podcast Tuesdays.  The final round will be April 13th, with the bracket champion announced on April 15th!  Make sure to vote often, ya jagoffs!