It’s in failure that we often garner our most strength and wisdom, and as we know better, we want better. Just because someone is divorced doesn’t mean he or she didn’t learn valuable lessons about marriage. Divorced people have burned yet emerged the best. Marriage is a story of love, with bumps and difficult way.
Some of us wish they did things differently or they never did them at all. Many are times we argue we didn’t marry our best fit, and lastly quit citing “that’s not what I signed up for”. No matter your blah blah blah…there are lots of valuable advice from the folks who have loved and lost. Read through.
1. Your Marriage Is What You Put To It Every day
Marriage is by all standards not a joke. It’s not as easy as reciting the vows in Montego Bay, Jamaica and later winning a honeymoon package in resorts designed for love to thrive.
A spot that matches your love story dream indeed. But marriage is something we work hard at and are tremendously proud of. You must deliberately make an input to your marriage on a daily basis.
Speak to your spouse daily with positive comments. Show them that marriage works and that your relationship will last a lifetime and treat it accordingly.
2. Surround Yourselves With People In Healthy Relationships
Sometimes your company determines what finds a way to you. If your friends are people who don’t value marriage, their pattern of life would soon catch up with you.
Such people have nothing to contribute towards building a lasting marriage relationship. Surround yourself with people who highly regard the institution of marriage and where there’s widespread support for making yours work.
3. Boost Your Spouse’s Mood
The mood of the couple determines the mood of the relationship. The divorced people believe that if they would give their spouse more of “affective affirmation,” including compliments, cuddling and kissing, hand-holding, saying “I love you,” and emotional support, they could not have parted ways. When you express love, you build your spouse’s trust.
There are four components of displays of affection that can change moods for better: How often the spouse showed love; made them feel good about who they are; how often you made them feel good about having their own ways and ideas; and how often you made life interesting or exciting. Do something as small as saying, “I love you,” or make a favorite dessert or give a hug.
4. Get Over The Past
If you want a lasting relationship, you need to let go of the past.
This includes getting over irritation at how your mother-in-law treats you, something from your own childhood that makes it hard for you to trust, etc. Divorced individuals who had attached strong emotions for their past were less healthy since they had not moved on emotionally.
You can talk to a friend about your trouble of letting go of your past. Or try connecting with the person who has upset you to explain your feelings.
5. Choose To Love
Mostly, love comes so easy when it was brand new. But this is not the case in a marriage. There are so many issues surrounding the relationship that it feels uneasy to love. But Love is a choice and an act of maturity when it comes to marriage. You should choose to love each day so that before issues arise, they will get overcome by love. Remember love covers a multitude of sins!
6. Play With You Partner, But Don’t Keep A Score
Your relationship is unfolding adventure rather than something you’ve achieved. You should continue investing in it over time. Lasting relationships have events that remind them of the importance of their relationship.
Additionally, the divorced folk’s advice that you should never evaluate your relationship with a justice model—I don’t need to do something for you unless you do this for me.
Instead, try to a grace model–I want to give to do to my partner whether they a mistake or not, and I don’t want to keep score. It is a powerful way of safeguarding your relations, though it’s more of sacrifice and dying to self.
7. Embrace Open Communication
When it comes to communication in marriage, I want to point out something that divorced couples advice. The open discussion comes in an environment where couples feel secure with another. You don’t expect people to communicate freely if one partner rebukes the other.
So ensure you give your partner to talk her madness out whether it makes sense or not. Talking about what was done can relieve the couple much tension.
8. Be Ready To Tolerate
Some marriages have been torn apart due to a lack of tolerance and acceptance. For a fact, there are things in your partner that can’t change.
Don’t only have expectations of who you want your partner to be, instead allow them to be. To accept them for who they are is to love them for who they are.
Many good marriages slip into crisis because we don’t work to keep relationships healthy and alive. Think about what happens when you just stop investing in your beautiful maisonette.
It will certainly fall into disrepair. Think about when you first started to pursue your wife. Get back to her and pursue her like a dream, after all, she wouldn’t have married you if you took her for granted.