A long-term relationship has its own pros and cons. According to a survey, one of the greatest disadvantages of a long-term relationship is boredom in the bedroom.
Living with your partner doesn’t leave any room for fantasies and mysteries. You hear your significant other snoring or complaining about colleagues at work (again!), and your sex drive disappeares like you never had it.
Sex life is one of the most important elements in the relationship since it is the way to show love, passion, and trust. If things in your bed are not as great as they used to be, consider restarting your relationship. There are a lot of ways how you can spice up sex life with your partner and prevent a breakup:
Have the sex talk with your partner
To solve the problem, you need to admit that there is one in your relationship. Your significant other deserves to know what you really think about your sex like (or lack of it). To do so, you need to pick a neutral location and time. Avoid discussing issues right after sex in your bedroom. It might upset your partner or negatively affect their self-esteem.
You need to start slowly without blaming your partner. Tell them that you are eager to try new things and look for compromises. This honest conversation between you and your partner is crucial for establishing a plan of action. Also, it will help you to understand that you both are on the same page.
Don’t take any measures (like getting sex toys) before you speak to your partner. If you can’t discuss your sex life openly, consider seeing a therapist together.
Explore your sexuality
If you are the one who doesn’t feel comfortable discussing issues in the bedroom, consider exploring your own sexuality first.
You need to know what excites you in sex and what kind of fantasies you want to live out. To do so, start with masturbation. It doesn’t only feel good, but it can also help to boost your libido and relieve extra tension. Consider getting sex toys for solo play (realistic sex dolls, dildos, penis rings, clit vibrators).
Other than that, you can also try watching erotic videos. Indeed, porn can’t be an alternative to sexual education. However, it can help you to see diversity of sexual narratives and explore your fantasies. You can be aroused by things you couldn’t even think of before.
If you have mental blocks that ruin your sex life, take a class on sex education or see a sex therapist. Professionals can help you to increase your self-esteem, understand your own sexuality, and clear sexual blocks.
Discuss your fantasies
To bring the sexual spark back, aim to explore your crazy fantasies with your significant other. Find a moment when you both are relaxed and ask your partner about their desires. Tell them that they can trust you. Needless to say, you shouldn’t make fun of their fantasies. Different people like different things- easy like that!
If your partner suggests something you don’t like, try to explain to them your reasons. Also, consider taking your loved one’s ideas under consideration.
Other than that, start acting sexy. One naughty message in the middle of the day can change your and your partner’s attitudes towards sex.
Don’t be afraid to use props and outfits! Your bedroom is not a real world; you can be whoever you want (even if you’re going to be an Iron Man for the night!). All these things will diversify your sex life and make it exciting again!
Take care of yourself
In order to refresh your focus and build sexual tension, consider taking a break. There are so many things you can do for your own pleasure: a weekend with your friends, a trip with your parents, dancing class, etc. Expose yourself to new experiences in order to stimulate your partner’s interest.
Being around someone who is full of energy and impressions always feels good! Plus, being apart for some time can be that healthy change you needed all this time!
Start dating…again!
Wasn’t it exciting to go on dates with your boo at the beginning of your relationship? You need to recall that feeling and start dating again! It doesn’t mean you should register on Tinder and look for other people to date. You will always have a chance to do this. Right now, you need to focus on connecting on an emotional level with your partner.
Forget about scheduled quickies and ask your partner out on a date. Let it be something truly unusual this time! Surprise them by taking them to another city or getting a skydiving course for two.
Engaging in new activities together can help you to reinvigorate adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin. Releasing these happy hormones will significantly improve your relationship and sex life.
The bottom line
If you are not satisfied with your current sex life, make sure to speak to your partner about what worries you. Together you will be able to come up with an effective action plan.
Listen to your partner carefully and consider expressing your sexual fantasies to each other. Remember about the importance of exposing yourself to new experiences and engaging in activities with your partner.
Following these simple recommendations will make you want to jump into bed with your loved one and spend at least a couple of days there!
