It happens to even the hottest couples sooner or later. Stay together long enough, and your sex life will eventually settle into a comfortable routine. Of course, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing all around. After all, this is the point in your relationship when you’ve learned your way around one another’s bodies. You know what you like, you know what they like, and you know what gets the job done for both of you.
However, if you’re not careful, it’s all too easy to lose that wonderful spark that keeps things nice and hot between you. Thankfully, though, it’s easy to keep the fire going with a bit of effort and dedication. So here are some tips for putting that fire back into the mix if you feel it’s been missing lately.
Talk things out together.
Communication that flows naturally between the two of you isn’t just nice to have in your sex life. It’s essential if you’re serious about keeping things mutually satisfying and exciting over the long haul. That said, the first step when dealing with any sexual rut or concern that things may be getting stale in the bedroom is always a good heart-to-heart.
Bring things up in a way that makes it clear you’re not blaming your partner for any possible issues. Then talk until you get to the bottom of what’s causing the lull you’re experiencing. Whether it’s a schedule that’s been way too busy, a health issue, or even just a natural age-related decline, it’s nothing a little effort and creativity can’t fix.
Make sure you’re connecting outside the bedroom.
The life you share with your partner outside the bedroom has more to do with the level of sizzle between the sheets than you might think. Connection, intimacy, and heat should be present between you even when you’re not getting down and dirty together, so consider whether there isn’t some room for improvement there.
It’s all too easy for couples to slip into habits and routines that make it harder to connect often enough and deeply enough. For instance, do you watch television during mealtimes or prepare for bedtime by looking through your phone instead of talking to your partner? When was the last time you had a proper date night? Making sure you’re making time for romance and connection outside the bedroom is a big part of keeping the spark in your sex life alive.
Give sexting a try.
Think back to the days when you and your partner first got together and could hardly keep your hands off one another. Do you remember how spontaneous you were about expressing affection for each other or even getting a little frisky when the mood struck? Start looking for ways to put a little of that sexual spontaneity back into your routine.
Sexting is a great option to start with. Start by simply letting your partner know about it when you catch yourself thinking about them or looking back on a particularly hot encounter you shared together. Send them a flirty selfie or suggestive message the next time you’re feeling cute or a little horny. Keep an eye out for other opportunities to be spontaneously flirtatious and frisky, as well. See where it goes from there, and enjoy the ride.
Get away from it all.
When was the last time you and your partner planned a trip or short vacation just to get away from the daily grind for a while? Once couples have been together a while, they tend to let other aspects of their life take priority, and they forget how healing a little getaway for its own sake can really be.
So plan a short trip away, just the two of you, even if it’s just to the next town over for the weekend. Spend some time doing things together that you both love or trying something new. Or hang out in your hotel room the entire time and bond romantically. Being away has a way of putting people in a different mindset – a more spontaneous, fun-loving, and romantic mindset – that’s great for rekindling lost passion.
Invest in some toys and accessories.
One easy (and fun) way to keep the spark in your sex life is to embrace the idea of playing with sex toys together. A wonderful, approachable toy like a magic wand, vibrating bullet, or vibrating cock ring can work wonders for a stagnant sex life by adding new sensations and experiences to the mix.
But don’t stop at just one toy. Instead, consider starting an entire collection of fun options to play with when you’re in the mood for something different. Think realistic sex dolls, some light bondage gear, sex wedges, costumes, special lubes, and more! Be creative, think outside the box, and let your imaginations run wild. You’ll be glad you did.