Communication is crucial in a marriage. Family life is all about being able to properly coordinate with your significant other about anything that could affect you and your relationship. You are going to have to deal with the fact that if you do not communicate properly with your partner, you may end up on the losing end of a divorce.
So, how do you effectively communicate with your spouse, or partner, to prevent any misunderstanding that could lead to a divorce? There are a few tips that may help you and your spouse to communicate better.
First, you must always make time to communicate. One of the most common problems between spouses is the fact that they tend to forget about the relationship once they have kids or once they get busy with their career. If you go down that path, you are going to end up getting divorced, and that is not the way you would want your relationship to go.
By making time to communicate, you do not need to schedule a time to talk, and you should schedule a time to bond. Every night before you go to sleep, you can tell the other person how your day was. It does not take more than 10 minutes of your day to do that, and it can further strengthen your marriage.
Every time that you have a problem with your spouse find a way to say your frustration calmly during the right time. This one is part of how you communicate with your spouse.
You may also plan a dinner date where the two of you can talk without the kids. Whatever you do, never give up on your marriage by not talking about what is wrong with it in the first place.
Second, when you do try to “talk” you should use your words correctly. Talking is not always communicating. Sometimes talking can even lead to bickering and a big fight between the couple. To prevent all of those problems, you should be wise in communicating with your partner.
How do you do that? There are a handful of ways.
- Avoid reading between the lines. In a marriage, it may feel like you should be in sync with your spouse, but when things are rocky, you should stop yourself from reading between the lines too much and dissecting every single word that your partner uses.
- Use more sentences that begin with an “I.” It translates better when there is an acknowledgment at the beginning of your convictions. “I appreciate what you did, and you most certainly can do more though.”
- Learn how to listen. Cliche as it may sound, a lot of couples think that communicating is just about talking when it is really about looking. What does your partner have to say about your life? How does your spouse feel about another person? Listen to what they have to say.
Third, you should balance the positive and the negative when you try to communicate. When you have negative feelings, you should express them constructively and not critically.
Instead of saying something negative, say things in such a way that the other spouse still feels loved. When you make your spouse feel that you are coming from a place of love, you remove the negativity away.
You should also express positive thoughts as well and praise your spouse whenever he or she deserves to be appreciated.
Finally, you should learn how to value the opinion of your spouse. Whenever you have a big decision, it is normal for you and your spouse to feel that talk about it and maybe even be on opposite sides of the choice. If your spouse is against a decision, hear him out and make sure that you do not decide until you and your partner both agree on it. It will never be right for you to ignore your partner’s ideas.
Now that you know how you can communicate properly, always keep in mind that it is never too late to do so. If you find yourself getting caught up in the moment, you may need to find a mediator near you so you can further see how you can communicate with your spouse effectively.