Why Some Men Want Their Female Partner to Penetrate Them, & Why it Should be Talked About Without Any Judgment

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Sometimes, the truth comes out over conversation, and sometimes their partners just know. Other times it’s a mutual and progressive experience, borne from a shared interest in anal play, and comes about of natural and pleasing consequence. The fascinating, mysterious and (as usual) misinformed, pre-conceived notions about pegging need to be addressed, but not taken roughly from behind.

Like most things other people do and you don’t, it’s all too easy to form an idea, opinion or verdict without the personal experience, or broad, thoroughly researched mindset the ubiquitous article writers, bloggers and video influencers seem to have. 

The type of play between couples that extends to anal stimulation, even penetration by the female has actually been around for as long as both genders. It’s nothing new or original, and some words just seem to stick. Most couples have their own term for what they enjoy, and might frown, shrug or think twice about the term pegging, but ultimately, it’s how a couple bond and share each other’s experiences and fantasies that counts, not what they or anybody else calls it.

A popular women’s magazine ran an article on males and females’ versions of pegging, and the comments were surprisingly unsurprising. The common themes were female sexual pleasure versus the psychological thrill from the act, and the other was how shy and uncertain many men were to even bring it up with their partner, for fear of rejection or labeling. The common thread? Female partners are generally a pretty understanding bunch, right? And for some, it was a new extension of existing play, and for others, it was a once or twice affair, and like a lot of other things, was packed away in the box and left alone afterward.

Read the men’s responses to the Q and A here. There’s a back link in it for the female responses as well, so check out both if you’d like more information.

Busting the myths

Like any sexual or pleasing behavior between couples, every couple/individual is going to do things their own way. They’ll think, talk and do the deed/s in their own fashion, and usually without everyone else’s permission, which is great. 

Pegging doesn’t make your man gay or bisexual, although they might well be for their own reasons, all pegging aside. If you are a male, and have a strong or even mild inclination toward extending your existing solo anal play to include being penetrated by a female partner, or are considering it for the very first time, by yourself or with a partner, it’s no more radical than you penetrating her or pleasuring yourself via the regular channels. We just live in an age where things that are even remotely out of the ordinary and slightly removed from perfunctory sexual acts are often viewed with a jaundiced eye by some. Not by all, but some. It happens.

So, in reality, pegging is whatever you want it to be, a gloved pinkie or a foot long giant dong that plays “Jingle Bells” when you climax. Many couples opt for something that pleasures both of them simultaneously, while allowing for greater skin on skin contact too.

The most important thing most couples relate to is being honest about feelings, and supportive of at least exploring your partner’s desires with some kind of active involvement.

It’s not all about bending your boyfriend over

It might be, but it often isn’t. Like any generalized behavior, and the unfortunate rate of confused representation of sex in the media and pornography, is it any wonder ‘normal’ people think adventurous healthy sex lovers are all perverts? Or that a male being penetrated is always going to be bent over, and probably crying out in confused agony. Not so.

Many report extreme intimacy, closer bonding and more open sharing of thoughts, feelings and a deeper connection from more powerful and longer-lasting sexual intimacy. Men straddling the missus, while she pleases him up front as well as behind is the most desirable for many. Partners can see each other, talk and be present, directly in close contact and with hands free for more of the good stuff.

How do I get started

If this sounds like the color of your day, talk to your partner, whether you’re the guy or girl it really doesn’t matter, you’ll never know how your partner feels until you broach the topic. But remember, like any sexual act, not everybody is into it just because you are, or have even thought of it. And if you haven’t been penetrated by anything yet, maybe try something yourself (preferably small and wet) before deciding it’s the only thing that can save your relationship.

And as for tools/toys? The world is your oyster, with peggers being a frequent buzzword for sex toy sales, it can be mind-boggling, but sticking with what feels right and comfortable for both partners is as important as discussing the topic in the first place. The best value and literal bang for your buck is the strapless strapons, in case you want to scale up, or prefer some extra stability, or for whatever reason you feel is good for you.

Openness, honesty and supportive intimacy are longer lasting, enduring features of any relationship. If it leads to ongoing, long term and with spice added to your standard lovemaking routine, then great. If it’s a fizzer or just not right for whatever reason, remember the key points of inception, discussion and support. Focus on the newfound strong points in your understanding of each other, and know that you can both be there for each other, when the next thing comes along, whatever that may be…