Sexual Attraction in Relationship: Finding a Comfortable Balance for Both

Due to their sexual compatibility, a couple can live in peace and harmony for a long time while not getting bored and boring each other, always being exciting and attractive in an intimate way. 

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What can make the relationship between a man and a woman truly harmonious? First of all, lovers must be compatible psychologically, have common interests, and outlook on life. But no less important is the sexual compatibility of a man and a woman, the absence of which often leads to dissatisfaction with intimate life, quarrels, and sometimes to breakup. While there is a frank “sexual temperament” selection on the best online dating sites, it may not be as easy to talk about it in your bedroom. Is sexual attraction important in a relationship? What determines compatibility in sex, what is it like, and how to improve it? Look for answers to all these questions in our article.

How male and female sexuality differ

But first, let’s figure out what sexual attraction means. Sexual attraction is defined as a kind of inner force that influences human sexual activity. It is characteristic of any of us, but not everyone clearly understands what it is.

The concept of sexuality is associated not only with intimate life. Still, the main differences between the sexuality of the male and the female sex lie precisely in the attitude towards sex. Society also adds to this. For example, a woman who does not show a clear sexual interest in men will not provoke condemning reactions from those around her. If a man shows little sexual attraction to women, he is criticized without hesitation.

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Types of sexual temperaments

The sexual compatibility of a man and a woman depends mainly on what kind of temperament each of the partners has: how they show themselves in sexual life. Sexologists identify three main types of sexual temperament: high, medium, and low.

High sexual temperament

People belonging to this type cannot live without sex. They can often develop sexual attraction without feelings. By nature, they prefer leadership, and in their intimate life, they are as active as possible and ready for any experiments. For women with a high temperament, long and passionate foreplay is very important.

For a comfortable existence, the representatives of this group need sex almost every day. They cannot feel harmonious in relationships where intimacy is lacking. Therefore, it is sexual compatibility that they put at the forefront when choosing a partner.

Medium sexual temperament

Most people belong to this group. They are interested in sex, but not too much; they lead a regular, but not too active intimate life.

Depending on many factors, those with an average temperament can have sex less often or more often: from three times a week to three times a month. In youth, they often change sexual partners, and at a more mature age, they prefer stability. Representatives of this group are distinguished by the ability to adapt to intimate life intensity, which is comfortable for a partner. Sexual compatibility in a relationship is important for them, but not the main criterion.

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Low sexual temperament

People with low sexual temperaments are least interested in intimate life. Even if sexual contact happens only once a month, they do not worry at all. If necessary, they can abstain from sex for a long time without feeling dissatisfaction. Representatives of this group strive for permanent relationships, and psychological and everyday compatibility is more important than a sexual one.

How to achieve sexual compatibility with your partner

Sexual attraction and relationship problems are quite common. Is sexual attraction necessary in a relationship? Why do lovers have difficulties in their intimate life? There are many reasons: 

  • partners are shy and afraid to talk about their fantasies;
  • one of them is selfish and does not take into account the wishes of the other; 
  • temperament and habits in intimate life do not coincide.

If you notice a lack of sexual attraction in your couple, this does not mean that your feelings are doomed. Sometimes harmony in a particular ​​relationship area is achieved by finding out the causes of existing problems and eliminating them.

First of all, you should talk to your loved one about what bothers you when there is no sexual attraction. Silence and pretending that everything is fine is not an option; this way, your relationship will never be truly close. The ability to tactfully point out existing problems, show patience and find a compromise is important to achieve and maintain sexual compatibility between a man and a woman.

When both partners want to improve their intimate life and are ready to open up to each other for this, then the level of sexual attraction may well change.

On the part of men, the main mistake is that they do not see the difference between male and female attitudes towards sex. They expect their beloved to be ready for sex at any moment. In this case, to not upset the partner, the woman agrees on intimacy against her will. Naturally, she does not receive satisfaction as a result.

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First of all, women should refrain from negative statements about the male power of their partner. Criticism in this area is unacceptable: it negates intimate relationships in a couple and may even cause cheating. Instead, girls should stimulate their partner’s sexual activity with positive statements.

Sexual compatibility of a man and a woman can be unattainable only when one of the partners has an extremely low libido and is not capable of a full sexual life. For example, when lovers do not know each other enough or are focused only on their pleasure, all other problems can be solved.


The sexual attraction is one of the components of a relationship between two lovers or spouses, without which the relationship cannot exist. That is why it will be the right decision to contact a sexologist with your intimate problems if you can not solve them yourself. Experts conduct compatibility tests that allow a man and a woman to understand each other better and take a different look at the current situation.

At the same time, do not think that your sexual relations are not good enough to correspond to some generally accepted norm. In this case, the norm is understood as an average indicator, which cannot be considered informative. Some couples have sex every day, while others have sex once a week. What is unacceptable for some brings maximum pleasure to others. Therefore, it is worth evaluating the quality of intimate life only based on your feelings. Can sexual attraction last for years? Yes, of course, if you find a comfortable balance for both.

What is your sexual temperament? Do you find harmony with your partner? What would you like to change? Be sure to share your thoughts in the comments.

Author’s bio:  

Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.